Hardyharharharrrrrr. That earlier gumdrops-and-lollypops drivel was written by a naive little girl who was blinded by the joy of not having been scolded for several days in a row. She was a fool. A FOOL I TELL YOU!
Today, at the pool while my son was swimming with a friend:
Me: Hi, [I.T.] John! How are you doing?
I.T. John: Not so good.
Me: Oh no, what’s wrong. Are you sick?
I.T. John: No, I’ve got another dent in my car!
Me: That stinks. Who did it?
I.T. John: You park too close to me! You need to move those toys on your side of the garage!
Me: Well, I know I definitely didn’t do it. In fact I wrecked my car against my toy chest yesterday trying to give you enough room.
I.T. John: Well there’s a dent! Do you want to come see it?
Me: I can’t leave the two young boys you may have noticed in the pool to go see a dent that I didn’t cause.
I.T. John: You should come see it!
Me: I’m not going to go look at the dent right now.
I.T. John: You need to move your stuff so you have more room!
Me: That may be, but it’s a different subject. I know I didn’t scratch or even touch your car yesterday. But I said that last time. So, I will check with Reed and have him get in touch with you.
[Conversation with a sane, rational person would be over at this point, right?]
I.T. John: You guys need to be more careful and you need to move the toys!
Me: I can’t speak to any of this. Like I said, I know I didn’t cause any damage, so I’ll ask Reed to call you.
I.T. John: Well I’m not going to let this happen anymore! You aren’t going to beat up my car!
Me: You can talk to me as long as you want, but we both know I didn’t do it last time, and I didn’t do it this time. You did get my card with the money and cookies, right?
I.T. John: Um, yeah. That was nice and everything but I won’t allow you to beat up my car!
Me: You aren’t going to figure out the solution until you talk to the person who caused the problem. Like I said, I’ll ask Reed to call you and discuss it if he caused the damage.
I.T. John: Yeah, well.
Me: Okay, I’m sure you two will figure something out. Bye now.
I.T. John: Yeah.
Me: Bye now.
I.T. John: Bye.