Monthly Archives: October 2014

Uncle!

But seriously. I hate living here. As nice as our next door and upstairs neighbors are, 2 people can’t buffer the wrath of an angry mob of geriatric curmudgeons.

After the new fart yelled at my son (see below), we started looking for a new place to live. We discussed it with trusted friends and found we all agreed that our son should not be exposed to this environment any longer.

The world is such an awful place these days, Baby Boomers complain. No community, they moan. But when a young family moves into their neighborhood, they practically run us out of here with pitchforks.

Who in life gives me the most grief about being a helicopter mom one day and a neglectful, self-indulgent primadonna the next? Answer: The Boomers! Who made fun of me for standing with one foot in the door of the mens bathroom by joking that a man walking in was a convicted pedophile. Blame yourselves, you short-sighted Boomer jerks. You are the ones paying your mortgages with books, articles, and news programs shouting at me that someone is going to crawl through my second story window and steal my child.

There was a split second (that is literal, I’m not exaggerating an hours-long window of bicycle neglect) between Luc dropping his bike in the walkway and me hollering at him to move it before someone tripped over it. Copy of Association rules delivered and scolding administered.

The puppy barked for 45 min in the middle of the afternoon as we are crate training him. Copy of Association rules delivered and passive aggressive scolding administered.

Washed a new puppy blanket in the machine. Copy of Association rules read aloud to me.

Used the pool while other tenants used the grill. Two copies of Association rules delivered and three scoldings administered.

My son played with his friend in the common area at 6:30 on a Friday evening. Shout scolding administered to him by a man who repeatedly hosts guests on his balcony until midnight.

Waved at IT John b/c he is a jackass for not speaking to us (we didn’t scratch your car, you idiot!). He purposefully drove too close to my 6 year old son who was holding our puppy. I had to shove them out of the way and body block.

WHO ARE THESE LUNATICS?!?!?!

Yesterday, my son saw The Count driving into the parking lot. His face fell as he turned to me and groaned, “Oh boyyyy.”

When we told HOA John that we are moving in 3 weeks, he smiled and agreed that leaving is probably best. “It’s just not a good fit,” he smirked.

You old jerks should be horrified by your rude, offensive, hurtful, selfish, spoiled brat performance. How can you people smile and pat yourselves on the back when your conduct is causing a young family to have to move in the middle of a school year?! We do not have the time, energy, or money that this move will take from us. However, your behavior is so off-the-charts horrible that we have no choice.

And you smile and nod that it’s probably best.