Charleston AME Church Massacre 2015

* * * I struggle to push these posts live. I wrote this one a very long time ago, obviously. I’m trying to be brave. Trying to publish more raw, unedited posts. Here goes. * * *

“If we were to compare culture with an orchestra, and envision each instrument representative of a particular culture, then we can begin to see the benefit of listening to different instruments. The purpose of the orchestra is to produce music that is pleasing to the ear. This can only be accomplished if the musicians are reading from the same page, and are allowed to fully participate in the musical composition.”
— Tina Jackson-Williams

My chest is tight and aches because I am so deeply sad on so many levels and for so many reasons. I have only clumsy thoughts from partially processed experiences at this point. However, “God is faithful who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.” (1 Cor 1:9) So I reach out to express sorrow.

“As the #Charleston police deem this horrific act a hate crime, we pray vigorously that this person’s hate does not cultivate more hate.”

As I read some of the sharply negative responses to TheKingCenter’s prayerful tweet that the hate might stop with the shooter, I was finally able to see the deep wounds behind the anger. This was made possible by the courageous people of color who have offered me the gift of seeing their intense pain that they keep walled off from the “general public.” I have said before that I am honored to receive that gift. I take the responsibility of receiving it seriously. Though, at this point, I don’t know what to do with it. Or how. Or where. So, I pray. And read, and learn, and hope, and pray. And accidentally say the wrong things at the wrong times. And fumble. And stumble.

As the time for me to stand up begins to present itself, I cling to this Scripture:
“For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel — not with wisdom and eloquence, lest the Cross of Christ be emptied of its power.” — 1 Corinthians 1:17

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