We Scratched The Camero

I don't know how this kid manages to sneak in at night! I digress...

I don’t know how this kid manages to sneak in at night! I digress…

Sunday. 8:07 am.


(Have I mentioned our unit has a doorbell that plays 5 different songs? And that my son has found the little button to change the songs? And that he constantly changes the songs for the front and back doors so that we never know which one to answer?)

My husband slowly gets out of bed. He picks the front door and shuffles to answer it. The conversation as I was able to hear it from under my pillow:

Angry Old Man: Sharsh mark free facken my car!
Reed: We did?
Angry Old Man: Frak fromen shrick shrong plenty of space!
Reed: Oh. I’m sorry.
Angry Old Man: Gel whickle pickle wrong froggen BE MORE CAREFUL!!
Reed: Okay, um, bye then.

We were due for one of our biweekly scoldings. It has been 3 days since the last one.


Fact 1: Johns
There are two Johns in the complex: the head of the HOA and the guy who works in I.T. We refer to them as HOA John and I.T. John.

Fact 2: Parking



Our unit has two assigned parking spaces: the farthest space that nobody wants in the covered parking, and the farthest space that nobody wants in the garage parking. We share a two car garage with I.T. John. I.T. John keeps all of his many many many many many tools and wires in there along with his precious, beloved, better-not-breathe-on-her Camero.

Back to the story…

Allison: What was that about?
Reed: I.T. John is mad. Either we parked too close or we scratched the Camero. Maybe both. I’m not sure.
Allison: Sounds like he’s pretty mad out there.
(VROOOM!! VRUBVRUBVRUB SCREEEEECH VROOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! VROOOOOM!!!!!! VAARrrrooommm) (the sound fades in the distance).
Allison & Reed: (giggles)

The next day, I bump into I.T. John:

Allison: Hi John. I know you came by and talked to Reed yesterday. We are a little confused about what happened. Did we cause some damage?
I.T. John: YES!! Yes you did! You need to be more careful!
Allison: Oh no, I’m so sorry. What did we do?
I.T. John: Well I had it buffed out this morning. But you need to be more careful! I’ve been really nice to you!
Allison: You definitely have been nice to us. And of course we would never cause damage on purpose. We try to be really caref—
I.T. John: You need to be more careful! You parked way too close! This is a community and we all have to live together.
Allison: I totally agree. And I’m so sorry tha—
I.T. John: I opened the garage and I saw that you parked your car really close to mine. Then I looked down and I saw this little area where the dust had been wiped away like someone was looking at the damage they knew they caused. Like this. (I.T. John bends over to run his finger along a small area wiping dust away.)

NOTE: when I say dust, I’m talking about fine particles that are visible only because the car is black. This is the most spotless perfectly adored Camero in the Western Hemisphere.

Allison: I am definitely not disagreeing with you on the damage, but we would always tell you if we knew about it. Please don’t think that w–
I.T. John: Do you want to see a picture?!
Allison: No, I believe you that we caused damage, but the rub must have happened during the damage, not after. We would never try to hide something like that from you.
I.T. John: Do you want to see a picture?!
Allison: I believe you. I want to pay for the buffing. I just don’t want you to think that we would hide it from you.
I.T. John: Do you want to see a picture?!
Allison: Um, ok. Yes.
I.T. John: Aw hell, the sun’s too bright. You can’t see it. But I’ll show it to you later. I took pictures!
Allison: I am very sorry. I would like to pay for the buffing.
I.T. John: You don’t need to do that. I mean it was only fifty three dollars and sixty one cents.
Allison: Well I will definitely get the money to you. I’m so sorry. Please know this was an accident. We would never try to hide something like this from you.
I.T. John: What makes me mad is that you didn’t tell me. I’ve been really nice to you.
Allison: You have been really nice. Please believe me that we would always tell if you if we knew we’d caused damage.
I.T. John: I’m not trying to tell you what you should do, but you should rearrange your side of the garage. You aren’t organizing your space efficiently.
Allison: You are absolutely right. Would you be willing to give us some tips? Your side is so meticulous.
I.T. John: I’m not trying to tell you what to do … but you really need to reorganize your side.
Allison: Absolutely. We are on it. We will do that as soon as we can.
I.T. John: Ok.
Allison: Again, I’m so sorry. I’ll get that $50 to you right away.

Then I get home, tell Reed, and it turns out he is 100% guilty! He smacked the car door into the Camero, wiped the dust away with his finger to look at the damage, decided it was no big deal, and then didn’t tell anyone including me! What the?!?! Grrroooaaannnn.

Hopefully chocolate chip cookies and a card with a sports car on it will help smooth things over … not to mention the $53.61 I tucked inside. Hey big spender!

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